Whoa do I feel better!
Something evil had been brewing all weekend long and with my half-assed workout yesterday, and no workout this morning, I had nowhere to push my energy. However, that made for an AMAZING workout when I got hom.
I took all the tension and stress and anger and focused it into my workout. First of all, I couldn't listen to any of the bloody music anymore, so I made a workout playlist for my iPod. I turned that on, and started to work out. Circuit one I seemed to be flailing just as I normally do, but circuit 2, I worked out all the aggression (I think it's those punches!), then circuit 3, I was dancing during all the jumping. Then I added some yoga and a long shower and I was a new woman.
I still love this workout. And I love that we have chosen to do this. I love feeling good, eating good, living good! And I love, love, love my friends that are doing this with me. They are amazing!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Some days!
I hate movies with torture or movies about the Holocaust or anything like that. I can not understand how any human being could do such harm. How is the human race capable of genocide, murder, slavery, any of it? It's awful.
Lately though, I am beginning to see how. I look at how I am treated at work. Or for that matter how some of my friends are treated at work. How dare you treat me like I am less then you, lower? Why do people come in to a theatre with such entitlement? I don't owe you shit!
This entire weekend had been full of people yelling and being rude. Treating me awfully. And a thousand other things. Cast member taking beer and soda and not paying it. Telling me they'll "kill everyone in the lobby" if they don't get a soda they can't pay for. Throwing things at me. Taking what they want.
I have never walked into somewhere and just expected everyone on the staff to swan around me and give me everthing I want. And I am an attention whore! I love attention. It's been the reason I have lost friends and squandered relationships. I want attention and I want it now and I want it my way. But I never do this shit in public and dump it on some poor unsuspecting person who is just trying to do their job.
People are horrible! And I am sick and tired of it.
And more and more, I feel like I am being told to just deal with it. Let the petulant and spoiled behavior continue and just ignore it. Why? No one should ever be rewarded for that type of behavior. People who are kind an patient should be rewarded.
On a somewhat related note, I really am starting to hate and despise everything (and in some cases, everyone) I once loved. Is it the things I love that are changing? Or is it me? Am I disengaging from it all to save myself the pain when I leave in August? Is it a sign for God, or the gods, or the Universe that this is not my rightful place any more? Am I becoming someone else? Are they?
I wish I had the answer.
Lately though, I am beginning to see how. I look at how I am treated at work. Or for that matter how some of my friends are treated at work. How dare you treat me like I am less then you, lower? Why do people come in to a theatre with such entitlement? I don't owe you shit!
This entire weekend had been full of people yelling and being rude. Treating me awfully. And a thousand other things. Cast member taking beer and soda and not paying it. Telling me they'll "kill everyone in the lobby" if they don't get a soda they can't pay for. Throwing things at me. Taking what they want.
I have never walked into somewhere and just expected everyone on the staff to swan around me and give me everthing I want. And I am an attention whore! I love attention. It's been the reason I have lost friends and squandered relationships. I want attention and I want it now and I want it my way. But I never do this shit in public and dump it on some poor unsuspecting person who is just trying to do their job.
People are horrible! And I am sick and tired of it.
And more and more, I feel like I am being told to just deal with it. Let the petulant and spoiled behavior continue and just ignore it. Why? No one should ever be rewarded for that type of behavior. People who are kind an patient should be rewarded.
On a somewhat related note, I really am starting to hate and despise everything (and in some cases, everyone) I once loved. Is it the things I love that are changing? Or is it me? Am I disengaging from it all to save myself the pain when I leave in August? Is it a sign for God, or the gods, or the Universe that this is not my rightful place any more? Am I becoming someone else? Are they?
I wish I had the answer.
Days 6 & 7
Alright, I finally have a chance to just breathe for a moment. Albeit, barely. I am still at work, just waiting for the show to get out.
So yesterday was a weird day. I woke up and felt awful, totally sick to my stomach. I figured it was just the lack of sleep I had gotten and I told myself that if I got up and worked out I would be fine. So I turned on the DVD, stretched out and started. First set up jumping jacks made me queasy. Second set made me nauseous. By the third set I had to run to the bathroom. I didn't throw up, but I was that queasy. So I went back, skipped all the cardio and just did strength and abs, which seemed ok. I know it's not the full work out, and I feel awful, but something about jumping was turning my stomach.
Today I could not get out of bed (for several extraneous reasons) and decided I was probably just going to leave work angry, so I might as well save the workout for after. And boy am I glad I did. I am going to need a way to work out my frustration after this. I'm going to write another blog about that, so if you want to find out why I am so bogged down you can read it, and if you just like keeping up on how weight loss and the work out is going, you can just skip it.
So yesterday was a weird day. I woke up and felt awful, totally sick to my stomach. I figured it was just the lack of sleep I had gotten and I told myself that if I got up and worked out I would be fine. So I turned on the DVD, stretched out and started. First set up jumping jacks made me queasy. Second set made me nauseous. By the third set I had to run to the bathroom. I didn't throw up, but I was that queasy. So I went back, skipped all the cardio and just did strength and abs, which seemed ok. I know it's not the full work out, and I feel awful, but something about jumping was turning my stomach.
Today I could not get out of bed (for several extraneous reasons) and decided I was probably just going to leave work angry, so I might as well save the workout for after. And boy am I glad I did. I am going to need a way to work out my frustration after this. I'm going to write another blog about that, so if you want to find out why I am so bogged down you can read it, and if you just like keeping up on how weight loss and the work out is going, you can just skip it.
Crazy Weekend
I have been working like mad. Like 11 hours yesterday. I did workout, but I haven't written. When I get a second to myself, I promise I will write.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Phew! Day 5.
So I went out last night to pole dancing class and I have to say I was way stronger at pole dancing then I have been. The first class I hurt for a week after, so I have been taking it easy every class since. However, when I got to class last night, I just felt like going crazy, and I totally did. It was so fun, and minus for the new bruises I feel pretty good about it.
Because of my adventurous nature last night, I expected to hurt this morning, but nope felt great. I even slept in, and set my alarm for 10am, got up 15 minutes before the alarm even went off. It was fabulous. I actually just laid in bed just looking at the sunshine playing on the ceiling thinking about how great I feel. Sat up, still no pain from last night. Total win!
That was of course until I actually began to work out. Then the pain came. In my arms this time, and normally my arms seem fine. Suddenly push ups were really hard. I stopped multiple times. I also seemed to hurt my knee and ankle last night. But I pushed on and still felt great afterwards, despite some minor shoulder pain.
Oh well, there will be good days and bad days right?
The best part is the energy. Why didn't anyone tell me about the amazing amount of energy I would gain from this? I am less stressed, more clear thinking, I can work longer, tolerate more. It's fabulous. The ultimate test comes tomorrow when I work a double. We'll see. The only problem is that I seem to crash at about 9pm and there is little to no recovery. The only thing I can do is watch tv or sleep. But until that point, I have boundless energy. Like I said, tomorrow will be the test.
Because of my adventurous nature last night, I expected to hurt this morning, but nope felt great. I even slept in, and set my alarm for 10am, got up 15 minutes before the alarm even went off. It was fabulous. I actually just laid in bed just looking at the sunshine playing on the ceiling thinking about how great I feel. Sat up, still no pain from last night. Total win!
That was of course until I actually began to work out. Then the pain came. In my arms this time, and normally my arms seem fine. Suddenly push ups were really hard. I stopped multiple times. I also seemed to hurt my knee and ankle last night. But I pushed on and still felt great afterwards, despite some minor shoulder pain.
Oh well, there will be good days and bad days right?
The best part is the energy. Why didn't anyone tell me about the amazing amount of energy I would gain from this? I am less stressed, more clear thinking, I can work longer, tolerate more. It's fabulous. The ultimate test comes tomorrow when I work a double. We'll see. The only problem is that I seem to crash at about 9pm and there is little to no recovery. The only thing I can do is watch tv or sleep. But until that point, I have boundless energy. Like I said, tomorrow will be the test.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Day 4
I actually feel like I have very little to say about Day 4. The workout is becoming somewhat routine. It almost feels like talking about my workout would be just as boring as talking about brushing my hair. And I have exciting hair, it's always tangled!
The workout is still hard, but it gets easier everyday. I can sustain longer, and the pain in my muscles is going away. When I woke up this morning I didn't feel any of the pain I had felt in the days before. The pain does seem to resurface during the workout though, mostly in my quads. And for some reason the jumping is killing my calves. Hell, my calves kill me long before the cardio aspect does.
I checked my weight today, I am down to 245.6 which is quite a change from the 246.7, and for 4 days, 1.1 lbs is a lot! It's not going to add up to 30lbs in 30 days, but they tell you results are not typical. Still if I lose 1.1 lb every 4 days that is 7.7 lbs in 28 days. So I would estimate that it would come down to 8 lbs in a month. I can handle 8lbs in a month. That means I can be 238 at by mid May, and 202 by the time I move to Cali.
Of course all the pens on whether or not a I stick to the diet and workout plan. And I still having really big dinners, what happens if I cut those? Intriguing.
The workout is still hard, but it gets easier everyday. I can sustain longer, and the pain in my muscles is going away. When I woke up this morning I didn't feel any of the pain I had felt in the days before. The pain does seem to resurface during the workout though, mostly in my quads. And for some reason the jumping is killing my calves. Hell, my calves kill me long before the cardio aspect does.
I checked my weight today, I am down to 245.6 which is quite a change from the 246.7, and for 4 days, 1.1 lbs is a lot! It's not going to add up to 30lbs in 30 days, but they tell you results are not typical. Still if I lose 1.1 lb every 4 days that is 7.7 lbs in 28 days. So I would estimate that it would come down to 8 lbs in a month. I can handle 8lbs in a month. That means I can be 238 at by mid May, and 202 by the time I move to Cali.
Of course all the pens on whether or not a I stick to the diet and workout plan. And I still having really big dinners, what happens if I cut those? Intriguing.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
What Strange and Wonderous Thoughts are These...
I had a good day. Let's start there. The air has been full of positivity all day long. I good work out, I hurt way less then yesterday, and things seemed to be going my way. I got up and went to work, even did 2 classes when I normally have Wednesdays off. Energy bounding all day.
Then, after my last class as I was driving home down Jewell, skipping traffic for once, I was staring at the mountains, enjoying the sunset and I thought to myself, "I want to go for a walk...or maybe even exercise." Yeah! I want to exercise. And on a day that I have already exercised on! Who am I? Who have I become? I like her!
Now, turns out that I have a lot to do tonight, and I likely won't get the change to get much exercise in, but really the point is that I wanted to. I NEVER want to! It's such a great feeling. And to B, C, & D, my lovely partners in crime, part of the credit is due to you. I can't wait to get online everyday to see how your days were. Keep up the good work, you are all so AWESOME!!
Oh and I got Chinese for dinner, just lettuce wraps! Oh and an egg roll. What a happy girl am I!
Then, after my last class as I was driving home down Jewell, skipping traffic for once, I was staring at the mountains, enjoying the sunset and I thought to myself, "I want to go for a walk...or maybe even exercise." Yeah! I want to exercise. And on a day that I have already exercised on! Who am I? Who have I become? I like her!
Now, turns out that I have a lot to do tonight, and I likely won't get the change to get much exercise in, but really the point is that I wanted to. I NEVER want to! It's such a great feeling. And to B, C, & D, my lovely partners in crime, part of the credit is due to you. I can't wait to get online everyday to see how your days were. Keep up the good work, you are all so AWESOME!!
Oh and I got Chinese for dinner, just lettuce wraps! Oh and an egg roll. What a happy girl am I!
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