Friday, October 9, 2009

A Good Day!!

Today was an AWESOME day! I felt like rehearsal went really well!! And J gave me a cool Spock toy! My interview went well! Dinner was good! I got my drawers cleaned out! I found some cool stuff! Decorated my room some more! Overall a very positive day! (hence all the exclamations!)

I'm really quite happy. Yay for good days!

I'm finding serenity now that my room is clean and organized. It's wonderful and I have found some music to settle my head. It's amazing, the peace I have found. I knew this would happen when I organized my life.

On an unrelated note, I am a little bit stalking the guy next door. He's kinda cute.


Original Weight: 293
Last Weight: 252
Current Weight: 252
Change in Weight: 0
Mood: Frustrated!

So I'm still stuck at 252, 40 lbs down. I'm stuck!!! Even wehn I stay on my points, I don't seem to be going down. I need to exercise more tomorrow. I am going to try as hard as I can to stay on my plan!!


Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Zombie Girl Finds Zen

Yikes! I can't believe I am still awake! Today was the first of our morning rehearsals and I sure as hell only got about 3 hours of sleep. I'm really not sure how I am still going.

It's been a rough few days, but my zombie state has actually calmed me down. My room seems to be kicking in. It really is quite calming. Hopefully when I am done with this, I'll lay down and sleep well.

We'll see.

What a day!

GRR!! Well today was filled with even more crap! Wht a lovely trend I am starting!

And it started out so simply and so cozy. Gus and I cuddles while it rained. Work was easy. But that was the morning.

The afternoon had me unfocused at rehearsal and the evening brought a huge fight with the fam. Lovely.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Everything hits you at once!

Have you ever had one of those days where you thought to yourself "does everyone want me to have a bad day?" The weird thing is, I fucking cleaned and de-cluttered my room all damn day just so I could try to start to declutter my life and yet, it cluttered itself right back up again. And I slept well too!! Woke up early, all ready to greet the day and what do you know, all hell has broken loose at work. Some kids have strep throat, my boss is worried about communication, I worked from the moment I woke up, straight through to rehearsal time! Rehearsal was exhausting and my job is getting more and more intensive as we grow closer and closer to show.

Then there is the Bro!! Fucking breaker of promises who has a party and leaves all his shit here! There is a really strong chance that I might sell all his shit on eBay! Prick! I can only hope more shit will actually declutter tomorrow, if not my life's going to SHIT!

So Random...just thoughts!

Bro moving out is SUPER FRUSTRATING!! I just want this to be my own space!

Sorta blew my diet today and probably a little last night too. I forgot to do my weight as well. Oops. Oh well.

Is it weird that I am envious of celebs because they get to go to award shows? That's silly huh?

I did a really good job cleaning my room today. Took a lot of work, but it's so very nice and zen now. R came over and kept me company for a bit while I did it, then we hung out for awhile. We've decided we need to have R&R day every Sunday to keep up on TV. It's going to keep us close.

Cali is weighing heavily on my mind today. It might be why I am in such a weird mood (hence the random blog!). I also blame a lack of friends to hang out with (why doesn't everyone have Monday off?) and bf (despite last blog, I know!) because I am so freaking bored!!

Oh, Lately it's so Quiet

So the power just went out, but I'm not annoyed at all. I was being entirely too distracted by late night TV. I decided to come back and sit outside. It's surprisingly bright out here for this late hour. Breeze is nice. And it's so quiet. The people next door are out on their balcony as well and I can hear someone down on the street as well. But otherwise, it's relativly quiet. Of course as I write this, a siren is blaring in the distance. Figures.

So today I ate quite alot again. But I sorta felt like I needed it after my long week. I plan to be back on tomorrow.

Bro is moving out this weekend. It's nice because I feel like him leaving will help declutter the house which in turn will help declutter my life. That would be a lovely feeling!

Rehearsal tomorrow night, then I might help the Bro and finally Star Max Itrek tomorrow at midnight!! Hells to the yeah!!

A Moments Clarity

Original Weight: 293
Last Weight: 252
Current Weight: 252
Change in Weight: 0
Mood: Ha!

I know that I'm silly and ditzy and borderline crazy, but sometimes I have moments of absolute calrity. Complete lucidity!! I eureka moment!!!

Today, I had one of those moments!

This whole day just felt like a VERY positive day! I set my alarm for 11, even though I wanted to wake up at 10. But instead of snoozing until like 11:40 like yesterday, I got up at 11! So small victory!

Getting ready for the designer run seemed easy and running it seemed even easier. The kids took the show from like 1 hr. 45 min, to 1 hr. 9 min!! They impressed the hell out of me!!

So after rehearsal, L and I stood out and talked for a while. She is just so great, she as done so much and wanted so much and she really does think like I do when it comes to men and relationships.


Then, and only then will I consider settleing down. I don't want to be her age and feel her regret! In 20 years, I don't want to tell myself that I 'shoulda, coulda, woulda'

If everyone else can do it, I can too!! I have the tenacity to do it! My horoscope and birthday always say so and I don't care if you believe in astrology or not because it's my talisman and I what I need to keep my life force driving in this direction.