Monday, October 5, 2009

A Moments Clarity

Original Weight: 293
Last Weight: 252
Current Weight: 252
Change in Weight: 0
Mood: Ha!

I know that I'm silly and ditzy and borderline crazy, but sometimes I have moments of absolute calrity. Complete lucidity!! I eureka moment!!!

Today, I had one of those moments!

This whole day just felt like a VERY positive day! I set my alarm for 11, even though I wanted to wake up at 10. But instead of snoozing until like 11:40 like yesterday, I got up at 11! So small victory!

Getting ready for the designer run seemed easy and running it seemed even easier. The kids took the show from like 1 hr. 45 min, to 1 hr. 9 min!! They impressed the hell out of me!!

So after rehearsal, L and I stood out and talked for a while. She is just so great, she as done so much and wanted so much and she really does think like I do when it comes to men and relationships.

I DO NOT WANT A MAN TO DEFINE ME!!! I DO NOT WANT TO STOP MY DREAMS FOR A MAN!!! I WILL LOSE THIS WEIGHT!!! I WILL MOVE TO CALIFORNIA!!!

Then, and only then will I consider settleing down. I don't want to be her age and feel her regret! In 20 years, I don't want to tell myself that I 'shoulda, coulda, woulda'

If everyone else can do it, I can too!! I have the tenacity to do it! My horoscope and birthday always say so and I don't care if you believe in astrology or not because it's my talisman and I what I need to keep my life force driving in this direction.

I CAN!!

I WILL!!

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