Interesting title, I know. And I mean it. Well, sort of.
WARNING: This blog deals with lovely girly issues. So if you think it'll be TMI, don't read it. It's won't bother me if you don't. :-) (it's not graphic, just a lot of info)
On January 18, 2009, I decided I didn't like my life or my weight. Some of it was born out of boredom, some out of resentment. I decided that if I wanted a new life, I could have it. Nothing was stopping me except for myself. So I did. In a year I lost 50lbs, got a better outlook on life, and made some big plans, all because I changed my diet and exercise.
That stupid little phrase has haunted me my whole life. I have stomach issues. Well diet and exercise. My back hurts. Diet and exercise. My knee feels out of joint. Diet and exercise, and my favorite came when I was 14, when I still hadn't yet had my first period. Diet and exercise. Thankfully, I am child of pop culture, and when my mothers Womans Day magazine told me, when I was 16, that there might be an underlying problem more severe, I listened. And they were right. Another trip to the doctor, this time to see one who specialized in Womens health, she confirmed my diagnosis. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrom. Big words for this: I make too much insulin, the insulin shuts down my horomones, I don't have a period. This was the major issue, but what would help? Diet and exercise.
Still, I never stuck to a diet long. The syndrom remained a problem for the next, oh 9 years. Menstruation was random, unpredictable, and always light. Until I started losing weight. And since about 30lbs, I have been somewhat regular. Often up to a week late, but nowhere near my old schedule of months late.
But there was another change as well, starting around 50lbs. The week leading up to my period, is AWFUL. I have horrible mood swings and awful depression. The likes of which I have never had before. I spend days lying around wanting to do nothing, contemplating calling in sick to work, despite the fact that I am fine. I don't want to talk to anyone or see anyone. I cry, I yell, I'm snarky, I'm lazy. It's awful! It feels like I am some alternate personality, and the real me is inside watching, knowing that this is so wrong and not really me.
About 2 months ago I began to talk to a doctor about it. She told me to keep a journal. How I felt each day, and at about what point in my cycle I was in. Sure enough, the last two months have matched. She can't treat me, or officially diagnose me because I am not really seeing her as a doctor, but as a friend (thanks to my lack of health insurance), but she says that I absolutly hae PMDD, Premenstral Disphoric Disorder, or Killer PMS.
I've begun taking St. John's Wort and B-12 to help. Today I can concentrating better and am in a much better mood then I was in yesterday. So the effect is already taking hold. The last thing she prescribe was the good old standard, diet and exercise. Figures. She says I need to cut caffine and chocolate, as they will contribute to my mood swings. If I didn't love this woman for all her free help, I would hate her so much!
I asked her, "so diet and exercise got me into this, and now it's going to get me out."
She laughed. "Yep, sorry kiddo."
She's also helping treat me for my foot, and has told me to not do the shred again (at full capacity at least) until Mon. I also have fancy new inserts for my shoes (which are helping!) and that I need to exercise with shoes on (lame!). So I have been doing strength, abs and yoga, no jumping. I am going to buy C's cardio yoga DVD tonight too, which should help.
I hate not doing the shred because despite the few negatives, I have so many positives. I generally like the way it make me feel, and I love the results. I've decided I am going to add 5 extra days to my 30 days. I feel like I need it. I want to do this fully! I want this to work!